Taxi

School is now officially out for the summer. My three youngest have social lives that would rival Hollywood stars and I’m close to finding out what it costs to hire a full-time driver. Well, not really, but if it were in the budget, it would be a toss up between hiring someone to do laundry or drive my social butterflies all over town.

I’d choose the driver. Why? Because laundry can wait. Seriously, shorts can be worn twice in the event of an emergency and I over-buy on underwear and socks.

Today kicked off the summer social schedule, which included some socializing at school…that required 180th day where no one does a damned thing. Including the teachers.

8:45am: Drop Maxx and Mya at their last day of elementary school a/k/a play games all day and write “BFF” all over each others notebooks.

8:55am: Stop by Zach’s middle school to pick up his report card because the whole last day involves boring movies and cardboard pizza. Learn that report card will be mailed so THAT was a wasted trip. Onward with Zach’s scheduled plans that includes a day with all of the kids who don’t want to sit inside and watch movies while the teachers chat.

9:10am: Drop Zach to meet up with his “we’re gong to high school” friends. WHAT almost-15 year old  has plans at 9:00 am on a day when he didn’t have to go to school? Mine. Note to self: check to see if this is the same son who I couldn’t roll out of bed at noon time last summer.

9:25 am Home. Work for 20 minutes. Shoot, forgot I am one roll away from having no toilet paper in the house. Off to Stop & Shop before the day turns into night turns into 11pm and someone yells, “MOM….where’s the toilet paper?”

10:30 am Home. Work. Nap accidentally for 10 minutes sitting up. Work. Find tape to hold eyelids in the open position.

11:30 am Reply to 11 out of 146 emails that need a response. Progress.

11:45 am  Delete comments on some of my articles that are, let’s say, not so nice. Think to myself that web writing sucks big time some days. People are so mean and pick you apart like a tiger eats a bird. (Note to self: Save this idea for an upcoming blog post. Look for picture of tiger eating bird.)

3:00 pm: Pick up Maxx and Mya at school. Say, “Yay! Last day” at least five times to show them that I, too, am excited that we don’t have to do the school routine tomorrow.

3:05 pm: Home. Make snacks. Sit down to work. Phone rings.

3:10pm: Pull Mya’s bathing suit out of the dryer. She’s off and running to her friend’s pool.

3:20pm: Back to work. Feel bad that Maxx is alone and everyone else is out. Try to work and chat at the same time. Can’t focus. Realize suddenly that my multi-tasking days are over. Dammit.

3:40pm: Maxx is getting hungry. Dinner? It’s 3:40pm…..

4:00pm: Decision is made. We’re going out together for Chinese. I don’t really like a plate full of sodium, but he does. He also wants a Shirley Temple to celebrate the last day of school. In the car, off to some place that has the name “Dynasty” in it. Closed. It’s Monday. Is that a Chinese holiday?

4:15pm: Found another place. This one has “Dragon” or something in the name. That sounds authentic. We’re the only ones in the restaurant. Hope that’s a good sign.

5:00pm: Sipping a Mai Tai. Me. I don’t even like drinks. I had it watered down because I’m so dammed boring I think my limit is a teaspoon of booze.  I had 4 sips. I almost felt like I have a social life. Good looking guy with me (so, he’s 12. Big deal), a Mai Tai with an umbrella, relaxing. Maxx is good company.

5:20pm: Heading home. Mya calls. Pick her up at 8pm. Time noted.

5:30pm: Home. Sit down to work.

5:35pm: Maxx’s friend calls. It’s never too late to socialize…..

5:50pm: Maxx goes to his friend’s house.

6:00pm: Home. Open an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of where my kids are and pick up times. Mya 8pm. Maxx 9pm. Zach 9:15pm. Plan pick up route.

7:20pm: Wonder where the past hour and 20 minutes went. Spend 20 more minutes thinking about how I could rule the world if I got more sleep. Scary thought.

7:45pm: Back in car to get Mya. Spend 30 minutes chatting with Mya’s friend’s Mom about Justin Bieber and other information that is light enough for my tired brain to comprehend.

8:30pm: Home. Finish one article. Call Maxx and Zach to confirm pick-up times.

8:55pm: Back in the car with Mya.

9:00pm: Pick up Maxx. Try to keep up with the jibber jabber in the back seat about the last day of school. More importantly, try to stay awake to drive 3.7 miles to get Zach.

9:15pm: Pick up Zach. Blinded by lights from truck coming out of a driveway. Now I know what a deer feels like.

9:20pm: My eyes recover. All kids accounted for.

9:35pm: Home.

9:40pm: Mya: Did we have dinner?

9:41pm: Took me a whole minute to think. Yes. Everyone ate. Here, there, wherever they were.

Welcome to my world. The season of the inflated grocery bill and Mom-taxi has begun.

….10:40pm Finish blog post so BlogHer keeps my ads up because I’m a total blog slacker…. and now….time to get to work. Again.