Spell Check Doesn’t Help
I wanted to grow up to be a writer who was a mix between Erma Bombeck and Ernest Hemingway. Strange mix. Then again, I’m talking about myself here. I haven’t grown up yet. There is still hope.
I am, however, a writer. I mostly like to write senseless crap here on my blog, but that doesn’t keep the food on the table. So, I have to write stories about the Superbowl (HOORAY!) or how a man lived to tell that he found dried ants in his McDonald’s breakfast burrito. It’s a thrill a minute but better than writing obituaries.
When it comes to blogging, there is one thing that I love about it: it’s forgiving. You can write “slang” or make an error in your own personal blog and no one will call you out on your grammatical or spelling errors. I seriously try to make a concerted effort to write properly, but this isn’t The Wall Street Journal or any fine literary work.
HOW….EV….ER:
I am just amazed at the amount of complete CRAP that is now considered journalism on the web. Have things loosened up so much that it’s no longer necessary for people to have at least a second grade education to write for a news site? Has writing become “business casual” in the way that people now dress for work?
Sorry, but I liked when men went to the office in a suit and tie and women didn’t wear leggings and a big top to work. Of course, I spend my days in jeans and no-skid socks and I don’t go to an office anymore. I’d be calling in sick most days anyway because it takes me 4 hours to get my knee oiled up and working. Yes, I said no-skid socks. Hush.
Getting to the point here — which isn’t my strong-suit — I’ve noticed that everyone on the Internet is now either an SEO Specialist or a Freelance Writer. I’m sorry, but writing an article called “How to Make Out Under Water” does not qualify you as a writer. Yes, that is an actual article on the web written by someone who thinks they have this writing thing in the bag. Dammit. Why didn’t I write that one? Likely because I’d drown trying to figure it out.
First indication that you need a little writing 101: COMMAS. Too, dammed, many, of, them. Why do some people think that a comma needs to show up in every sentence and after every two words? Do they feel bad for commas? Commas are overworked and abused.
The award was given to Bob, but Jane, seemed to have yet, another year with no awards.
The commas in red aren’t necessary. If you read the sentence aloud with the commas as they were written (yes, someone wrote this), you’ll feel like an old car stopping and starting.
Another pet peeve? Common word and phrase screw ups:
The selection at the store is hit and miss. (methinks you mean “or”)
Make sure you’re stove is off before you leave the house. (take that apostrophe out and the sentence reads “Make sure you are stove is off….”) YOUR is the word you’re looking for.
Bring me the box and it’s contents. (as much as commas are abused, apostrophes are feeling the heat, too. The proper word is ITS. No apostrophe necessary.)
The people in line had to leave there bags with the security guard. Their not very happy about that. (Why is this so hard? THEIR bags and They’re not very happy.)
A big misnomer: Spell check solves all of your spelling problems.
It will not. There are many reasons why people should not rely on spell check at all. Basically because it’s never really accurate.
FOREWORD, FORWARD: Yes, they are two different words. The first being a brief introductory statement in a published work. The second meaning toward the front or to bring into view.
PASSED, PAST: One is what happens when you don’t fail a test and the other is something divorced people love to talk about.
BUY, BY: The first word is when you purchase something and the second is when you walk on….by.
DRAW, DRAWER: This one ticks me off. The first word means to create a picture or to bring toward oneself. The second is that compartment in your bureau that you stash all of your panties or whatever it is that you store in that DRAWER.
Keep in mind, I’m not a grammar expert. Far from it. I make plenty of mistakes and write very casually here on my blog. However, when I read a major newspaper and see “Its a big day on Wall Street” and there is no flipping apostrophe in the word “Its”, I have to wonder. Is it the sheer fact that we’ve all gotten a bit lazy about crossing the “t” and dotting the “i”?
Blaming it on the Internet might be a good start but I am fairly sure it’s just that no one pays attention because they feel that being grammatically correct and using proper spelling is not a big deal.
If you’re an aspiring writer, blogger or freelancer — whatever you call yourself — perhaps you should consider it a really big deal. If you’re putting your name on what you write, why not do it right?
Take the comma quiz just for fun: The Comma Quiz
How, did, you, do, on, the, quiz?
Love it!
Spell checkers and other computerized editors are no mach for superior knowledge of the rules of written English. I say "written" to draw attention to the increased propensity for people to write as they speak; also very irksome when done frequently.
Think of it like a good horror/suspense film; minimalist wins.
The poor commas! I had a writing class where this classmate would put about 100 commas in my work when she critiqued it. Her theory was there should be a comma wherever you would take a breath while reading. I thought she should see a doctor for her breathing problem. Spare the comma!
Typesetters have passed this around for years. A quick web check attributes it to “anonymous.”
“Ode to the Spell Checker!”
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
rofl!
I,have got, to get, this grammer, sh…t down, better:
I was going to ask if you'd ever read Lynn Truss's book:" Eats, Shoots, and Leaves," but I see someone has already mentioned her book. Such a fun book for us grammar sticklers. "Stickle on, Cheryl!!"
I haven't read it…but I think I'm going to!!
I abuse the word "however"…I use it a lot…..that and "so"…and "OOOOK"
I'm just a word abuser.
I'm a recovering apostrophe abuser – it's and its are my weakness.
As someone who loves commas, I have to agree. I tend to use them completely incorrectly. That being said, I still got an 8 out of 10 on the quiz
Oh damn emoticons….but that is a rant for another day
You sound like Lynn truss of "Eats, Shoots & Leaves: A Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation". It was a huge best seller around 2006.. it has a bit of a Brit slant and hilarious. But, I digress.
The online world brings out the worst in people who think it's cool to sound/write like a ninth grader who flunked eighth grade English. What can you do? The Internet is the great leveler with lots of people racing to the lowest common denominator…if they even know what a denominator is. (ooops. ending with a preposition. I've been bad. Will you spank me now?
)
10 out of 10, Cheryl. I agree with you 100% on this one. I am convinced Newsday uses computers to proofread. No other way to account for the grammatical and spelling errors. “There/their/they’re” are all “spelled” correctly, but mean completely different things!
9 of 10. I gotta learn to rite more better. If I get a chance, will send some of my drawerings.
Amen.
There should be an online community for grammatically correct blogs. .
It would be a small group.