I Am A Serial Date Namer
I’ve been intermittently dating for the past 9 years since my divorce. I am still not sure I’m through with dating but there are days…months…that go by where I wonder if it’s really in the cards for me to find a normal guy. So, it’s been decided….I will continue to sleep with my Blackberry (on vibrate, of course) until Mr. Right comes along.I’m not seeking him out, though. If I do, he’ll end up as part of my past and I’ll have to give him a special name. Yes, I am a serial date namer.
Whether it’s one date or a few, usually the quasi-relationship ends because I either have no interest, no patience or don’t care for men who are emotionally screwed up. Not that I have always dated screwed up men but there seems to be a characteristic or two that brings me back to sleeping with my Blackberry.
A strange thing happens when a date becomes a former date. He ends up with a name. Not the name on his birth certificate. A name that he is dubbed by either myself or others who have had to live through my interesting dating experiences.
So, here are a few names…mostly because I have nothing interesting to blog about. Perhaps in a future blog I can explain why they are named as they are. However, in case they are reading this, I don’t want to embarrass the crap out of them. Even worse, they probably have a name for ME. Oh, spare me the retribution….
- Bible Boy
- Mama’s Boy
- Dumbo
- Hugger
- Wig Puller
- Bubble Boy
- Water Cop
- Self Absorbed Jackass
- Tiny Tim (OK, I slept with him)
Now that I glance over the list, I’m wondering if there is hope for not a perfect man…but a good man. Not George Clooney. That’s far too high maintenance for me…but I’m just not sure if the small state I live in holds the key to a normal man. So far, notsomuch.
Maybe I should just forget dating and look forward to the bus trips to the casino when I turn 50 in a few….short….years. Dammit.
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Im' also a date namer. My most recent one went from Wild Pork Man to 'The Dribbler' in just a few days. I no longer receive wild pork for my freezer, but I honestly don't care as I hate cleaning up toilets after men who can't aim!!!!
I thought it was only men that played the name game… although… we men seem to use the same two word name. ?:-) enjoyed the read, TY!
I find myself imagining what names I've been given… I'm kinda scared. I suppose I might get "Mr. Best intentions." I'm the sort of guy that buys a girl chocolates only to find out after that she's allergic. Great blog!
Oh, I see you dated my "ex", Mr. Self Absorbed Jackass. . . my sympathies to you.
Well, I hear where you are coming from! I have named mine also! From balls in purse to pretty boy to even a tiny tim!! Sad to say the last one, but I was surprised it comes that small!! LOL Maybe if it doesn't work out with this one I will see you in the casino someday!! Good Luck!
…I am glad we never dated…I shudder to think what my nickname would have been….
Tom–you're safe. We just drank a bit and made fun of people who were actually ON dates. That's the BEST.
A friend in college wore a shirt that read, "I'm looking for Mr. Right, but will settle for Mr. Close Enough." I quit looking for someone before I was out of college, but I've had my share of bad dates. There was Mr. Wanna Be, Mr. Has Been (an older man) and Mr. Ain't Gonna Be. Of course, Mr. Shut Up and Mr. Dream On. After giving up completely on men, happy with my life, I met a man on a Tuesday and married him on Friday. That was eight years ago. I don't recommend doing it that way, but it works for us. He is Mr. Perfect For Me.
Looks like I'd better get busy. I haven't done enough dating to have named them. O.K….except for perhaps my infamous Cowboy.
I've heard the wig puller story – it's priceless. Now you HAVE to tell it Cheryl! How about if I move to RI and ride the casino bus with you…
Jenn
LOL….the WIGGGG puller. Classic. One day I will tell the story publicly. I'm just afraid I'll have a rug thrown at me.
George Clooney keeps popping up in a lot of your posts. Could it be that you have a thing for George?
Gary, George Clooney is one hot man. lol. But I am a realist so I've come to terms with this….
I have a thing for George Clooney…yes I do.
So funny. Another blogger friend was asking for ideas to remember people's names and often my hubby adds things to names to remember people. So it would be something like "Bob, the Bible Boy". We have "Janet, the bird lady" and "Amy, the drunk receptionist" and stuff like that. So I think that it is common for people to give people names other than the ones they were actually given at birth. It is hilarious. I look forward to the post that explains the names.
That's hysterical. I can only imagine the names I get….
I knew a man once that I dubbed Mushroom Head. Yep! That's all there was to it. I actually giggled. I never giggle & I certainly don't go out of my way to hurt others. This was beyond my scope.
I’m jealous I didn’t come up with this idea for one of my articles
I really enjoyed it! And about dating and dating again and dating some more till (if) you find Mr. Right I do understand…It’s not like in the movies(http://www.uncover.ro/2008/02/25/not-like-in-the-movies/) 
Mamas boy…ha ha aren’t all of them that…ofcourse till they meet us
)
One of mine to add: Gadget freak (who think women are one of them).
But wig puller surely creates curiosty.
Cheers!
EKTA
I tagged ya! Come to my blog and see what all this entails!
oh no….I don't do tagging…but I'm coming to your blog anyway!
Right before I met my current Scott, I was dating another Scott, with the last name of Wright (I’m hoping that the name’s generic enough to not matter!!!). Prior to kicking him to the curb, I had been known to refer to him as Mr. Wright.
After I dumped him (together like 2 years) and met current Scott, my son (11 at the time) dubbed the other one as Scott Wrong.
Does that make my kid a serial namer??
Hey, I'm divorced from Scott Wrong!
I’m a serial date namer also! LOL And I do believe we’ve dated some of the same guys.
I’ve decided that I just date so that I can blog now! Like you, I lack patience and interest quite often.
I’ve dated a Tiny Tim. (I mean ‘tiny’. You mean what I think you mean, right?)
“Wig Puller”! I can’t wait to hear about this guy.
tiny…yes…like…….well, tiny. Thermometer tiny.
Wig Puller?!! I’m so glad my husband wasn’t a hugger. That’s a deal breaker right there.
never underestimate the power of a very convincing rug on the head.
WOW….now that wasn't even about you, Kurt. I guess you're still worried about that….you aren't the only man in the world who wears a wig. Wait, wore one. I guess you lost the rug. Good move!
Yes it was a good move !! Go figure,being bald is a confidence booster…LOL
You could have called me many things,but wig puller was not 1 of them..Hahahaha
Great story !!!