Interestingly enough I received an email today from Kotex as I was in the midst of writing my opinion about Apple’s new iPad. I was writing hours before the big Apple media fiesta was to begin and, at that time, the rumor was that it would be called the iSlate or something similar. So, of course, I didn’t relate Kotex to anything Apple had going on…but I do now.

The email: “Kotex(r) Extras Offers Tips & Ideas to Support Your 2010 Goals, Whatever They May Be!”

Then the announcement by Steve Jobs, who really needs a belt to complete his signature outfit. Steve told everyone about the new iPad — it weighs in at 1.5 pounds with a 9.7 inch IPS display. It’s a thin 5″.

However….does the iPad have wings?

Will it work on light days and heavy days? Will you feel secure with it, even with white pants on?

Or is this a job for Kotex?

Seriously, no women were consulted when Apple came up with the name “iPad”. It’s not a pad, Steve. It’s a tablet. Well, it’s not really even a tablet. It’s a iPhone on steroids. Will there soon be an iMaxiPad? Can’t wait.

I’m not sure I feel comfortable calling it an iPad. Not that I’m going to plunk down a ginormous amount of money on the giant pad that might let me read a book . Especially if it won’t balance out my very unstable hormones.

Then there’s the monthly reminder that would add to the malaise I already go through … a monthly fee will be $14.99 per month for the 250MB data plan and an Unlimited plan for $29.99. Of course, everyone will need the unlimited plan and that equates to over $360 a year to carry around a 9.7″ keyboard-less computer.

I don’t need to look cool and I certainly don’t think I need an iPad. I get coupons monthly from Kotex and a cheery newsletter on how I can reach my goals and have PMS at the same time. That’s enough for me.

Although the iPad looks really neat-o, I’m seriously thinking that if they change the name to iCan, I might save up and buy it. Otherwise, I don’t want to be reminded of the monthly horror.

I’m sorry, Steve Jobs, I’m sticking with my Blackberry. It reminds me of food. Food is good. Berries are delicious. Pads are just…a necessary evil.

Watch the MAD TV video here that was intended to mock the IPod. It’s quite hilarious now that there’s an iPad.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 7:41 pm and is filed under Ramblings, Social Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.