Bourbon Ball Etiquette
There were an awful lot of bourbon ball recipes being tweeted on Twitter today. I have no idea why just seeing the words “bourbon balls” makes me laugh but it must be some repressed issue I have…or that’s what a therapist would say. Seriously, who eats bourbon balls and what are they? I had to look at a recipe and make sure it wasn’t a hoax. Sure enough, it’s not a hoax.
One search on Google brought up hundreds of recipes for Bourbon Balls. Not just one variety of these drunk sounding balls, mind you. Mint Julep Bourbon Balls, Classic Bourbon Balls, Chocolate Covered Bourbon Balls, Dad’s Famous Bourbon Balls, Kentucky Derby Bourbon Balls, Gold Dusted Bourbon Balls, Holiday Bourbon Balls and Easy Bourbon Balls.
Take the word “bourbon” out and you’ve got some pretty risque balls: Dad’s Famous Balls just doesn’t sound like a recipe people would want to pass down as a family favorite. “Easy Balls” sounds a bit like something you’d expect one of Tiger Woods’ ladies to talk about.
Sooooo…….I thought about it while I was standing in line at Target today. I could have focused on the fact that the guy in front of me was buying a slew of ladies’ panties but I kind of passed that off as a gift for his wife. Instead I gave some thought to how one goes about having proper etiquette when they are offered a bourbon ball at a holiday party….or if you’re the one serving them.
Do you say, “Hi there, care to eat one of my bourbon balls?” or do you just pass the tray silently?
How many do you eat? If you have two, that’s a set. I’m been privy to plenty of “man” conversation and I know what a “set” is. Men love to talk about their set and it’s not a tennis match. So, who really wants to eat TWO bourbon balls when it’s like having a set? Go for three…or one. Do odd numbers when it comes to balls…of the bourbon variety.
How do you compliment the chef? “Great balls!” or “You serve the best balls!” Ack. How about just “Loved everything. Thanks.”
I don’t like bourbon. In fact, I’ve never had it but I know I don’t drink anything that looks like rusty water unless it’s Pepsi. I’ve even given that up for the most part. I’m not sure I’d like bourbon balls but then I’ve assumed a lot of things in my life and have been quite surprised.
Maybe I do need to talk to a therapist. Or start dating again. Not sure. At any rate, if you’re having bourbon balls this year, enjoy. I’ll be sticking with Lindt Chocolate Balls myself and hanging around the mistletoe…waiting………
Don't forget rum balls. These kind of things are great for the family drunk. He/She can just be munching happily away catching a buzz.
Hilariously funny. Wishing you and your family a ball this Holiday season.
Hilarious post! I can't believe you've never had a bourbon ball. My grandmother always made them for Xmas (and served them on a stationary tray of all other Xmas cookies and fruitcake). She made them early and left them in a tupperware container on top of the fridge for a few weeks where they further fermented.
They were positively flammable by the time they were served for Xmas, and a real delight! She had a similar technique with fruitcake which was steeped in a bucket of dark rum and then wrapped heavily in plastic so none would leak out. A strictly 21-and-up treat but not nearly so naughty sounding.
I think I may have to have one…soon….lol…..I can't miss out on something like this.