Your Opinion is Not Welcome
My son, Zach, came home from school last week with a pink slip. No, he didn’t get fired — although he’s more of the learn by doing type than the listen to the teacher drone on type of kid. He got an office detention. That’s right, 13 going on 14, 8th grade and he was going to be spending an hour after school staring at the ceiling. For what?
For speaking up and laughing. All in the same five minute time period.
I know…the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I remember having to stand in the corner in fourth grade because grumpy Mrs. Hedman said I was raising my hand too much and speaking out of turn. Not much has changed other than the fact I don’t raise my hand anymore. I just speak. Constantly.
“What did you get detention for, Zach? Anything interesting?” I asked.
“I spoke my mind,” he replied in that deep voice that always reminds me that I’m living with Darth Vadar.
“Ahhh…OK. So what did you say and were you rude?” Typical Mom question.
“No. There was this sales guy speaking during lunch, talking about the new fundraiser. We all had to be really quiet and listen.”
“And you weren’t?”
“Well, he told us that the school was doing the fundraiser because times were tough. Then he said they were going to be selling cookie dough and stuff. You know, cookie dough in a little container for $15. I was sort of ticked off.”
“Oh, that stuff. Why don’t they sell Snickers bars like they used to? I’d buy that”
“Mom, I decided to speak up. I stood up and asked how he expected parents to afford that crap if times were tough.”
“You said ‘crap’?”
“You say it.”
“So….what happened?”
“Apparently I was a little out of line…more than likely for challenging him. But maybe for saying ‘crap’?”
“Had to be something else. Didn’t he respond to your concern?”
“No. I had to go stand against the wall. That made me laugh.”
“Gotcha. So you challenged the guy and laughed all within a five minute time frame. Now I can see why you have detention.”
“That’s dumb.”
“I agree. But those are the rules. You know, don’t challenge people or speak your mind. It’s not welcome.”
“What happened to freedom of speech?”
“Well, you know, I am positive it’s not all about what you said. It’s who you are and how individual you are that gets you the against the wall routine. This school system respects kids more if they wear designer clothing and win the fundraising drives. Not free thinking or long hair.”
That’s right. My son has broken some rules at his school. He has long hair, to his shoulders. Mind you, it’s clean and he combs it. Holy crap, he takes a shower every night and he’s almost 14. No complaints. He also wears Converse hi tops, Levis and some fairly retro looking sweaters and shirts. Yes, they are from a store that sells vintage clothing. He likes that. He’s been bullied for years for his “different” choices. No designer sneakers, no $100 sweatshirt, no sagging jeans. Such a crime.
He reads 500 page biographies, that he brings from home, and teachers tell him read something in the mystery section at school. He likes rock and roll, he likes biographies and he loves to draw. He plays a mean electric guitar and it hurts my ears. But he loves it. Certainly it’s NOT alright to be an individual at his school. He’s immediately classed as a “druggie” or a “dummy” because he has long hair. I would bet that there’s more of that behind the designer clothing than teachers suspect….and it’s the kids who are “artsy” who get pegged.
When he had to have surgery for a tumor in his arm at the end of the last school year, a gym teacher said to him, “Oh, you can’t take gym…you’re the kid with the hole in your arm.”
Please, save me from this ignorant hell we call Cranston Public Schools.
Oh, and yes, Zach speaks his mind. Not rudely, mind you. He just says what he’s thinking. OK, he could have left the word “crap” out of his comment. He was passionate though…he had a thought. He thought of me, I’m sure, who would say, “WHY can’t they sell something affordable that I can use?”
Eight ounces of cookie dough for $15. That’s crap, alright.
I am proud of my son. He went to detention and walked all the way home without even asking me to pick him up. He paid his dues yet the detention wasn’t constructive. No assignment. No discussion. No nothing. Just sit there and look at the peeling ceiling tiles and count the minutes while a teacher who looks like he thoroughly hates his job sits at a metal desk…likely counting the minutes, too.
One day he’ll be a quiet activist. A musician. A great writer (yes, he loves it). Maybe he’ll have short hair. Who knows. All I know is that his teachers are missing out on getting to know one hell of a great kid. He’s a head full of knowledge but he’s on the shy side so he’s not going to make that known.
Yet.
Rock on, my son. May you continue to speak your mind.
Can we work together to form a new school with you, and any other parents who are willing to?
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That's OK. I always told my daughters (4 of 'em) that school is little more than a fraternity hazing for adulthood anyway.
Its sad the teachers don't see kids in front of them ,just dollar signs ,some students have more! I didn't have alot of money,my kids were clean ,awesome kids! They did have a Momma with a big mouth!! Still do!
Your son sounds like a delight ! Keep up the good work!
Sound like my school, even though it was in Russia, that time USSR. Our teacher though, would put all of the class to stare at the celling for that for couple hours after school that was over at 6 pm. My strong oppinion is that most teachers(school personnell) I met should never teach. Thanks God I was out of that school after grade 9 and I have never steped in that building since then!
I guess democracy is an utopia doesnt matter where you live.
I though proud of Zack, it is crap indeed. Cookie dough:))
I don't have children, but Zack would make me proud. Good job, mom. Since when is "crap" a "bad" word? Perhaps he should have said "what a pile of bodily excrement."
Darn sticky mouse button!!!
No. I'm somebody else's uncle
I wonder what the teacher who was monitoring detention did? They had to find somebody to send to detention or there'd have been no reason for the teacher to be there.
I admire him for speaking his mind and using the correct word to describe that crap.
I work as the Assertive Discipline teacher at an Elementary School…and let me tell you, teachers send kids in for laughing and talking all the time…..For pulling their pants down, peeking under bathroom stalls, eating, and chewing gum Etc…. Good for Zach for speaking his mind…I always respect a kid like that…and I love his long hair. ~~From The Discipline Teacher at MacArthur School
I have a friend who's son is exactly like Zach. YAY, smart boys!!
Why are there so few special teachers able and willing to recognize and nurture a good mind instead of going gaga over simple obedience?
Awesome post! Tell your son to be himself and be proud! Sounds like a great kid who will go far. Let him know. I agree with him 100% and this Florida Mom, every year, when that cookie dough catalog comes home says ” Im so tired of this crap” and right into the garbage it goes…..
Rock on, Zach is totally right!!!
OMG what is wrong the school system these days. You would think in these times of so called "enlightenment" that it would reflect in how our children are being taught. This is appauling ~ seriously. Everything you said on here took the words right out of my mouth!!! I hope he NEVER conforms and says nothing … what an amazing child you have there. He is destined for greatness for sure!!!!
YAY YOU, Zach!!!
And yay you MOM, because he got his voice from somewhere!!
amazing comments here….! Hooray for people who get it. I'm really proud of him. I probably would have laughed up against the wall, too………
Totally rock on, Zach! Cheryl, you're an awesome awesome mom.
Oh, and HOW Breakfast Club is *that*??? "No, you can't work on homework, no you can't read, no you can't talk; you have to 'think about what you did wrong'." Crap indeed (There's a MUCH stronger word he could have used. They should be grateful!)
Hugs to you both.
Sounds like he calls 'em like he sees 'em! Good man! I have a similar free-spirited daughter who definitely "marches to a different drummer". Don't ever lose that spirit!
My son recently graduated from high school. I was one of the lucky ones that was able to put him through a private Christian school. Our biggest dilemma was a smart kid, who was bored with the conventional educational process. It was a success to see the finish line! Oh yeah….and there were the ultra conservative opinions. I was never so proud as the day he explained to me how he had all these "opinions" about his teachers "opinions", and how he was always willing to challenge their thinking. I always knew he was a free thinker…(yep, I actually talked with my kid too). My only remark to him was "as long as you challenge with respect". You Go, Zach!
To The Crazy Ones
Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits
The rebels
The troublemakers
The round pegs in the square holes
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them
disbelieve them, glorify them or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent. They imagineThey heal.
They explore They create.They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
And it’s the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, who actually do.
- Author Unknown
Hooray for Zach! And hooray for you for raising such a kid! Us round pegs have to keep resisting being stuffed into the square holes.
Sending you the thing that inspires me (Next comment – I was told it was too long for this one – LOL)
Dear Zack, please be advised you are not allowed to think in school! Seriously, that was a valid question from an insightful, sensitive (and I mean that in a good way) young man. I would be proud to have a son like that.
Good for you and good for Zach. I'm proud of him and I don't even know him!
It sounds like the Cranston Public Schools needs to become progressive and utilize mediation so they can join the twenty first century. At least with mediation there'd be constructive interaction, they'd seek to find the problem, work on an equitable solution, and yes if they were out of line that'd come out too. The student isn't always at fault when the expectations are set from another century! ROFL!!!
Go, Zach. Insightful, creative young man!
Thanks…education at home is big. I may be tired, some days cranky, but I love discussion with my kids….
Detention? He should have received an award. Perhaps another disconnect between school administration and the "real world." Your child has, and will continue to, received a more complete education at home – questions, dialogue, and listening.
Rock on, Zach!
see, blondie, you are doing an awesome job!! rock on! (pointless detentions – could i witter on about that for an hour or two…..)