The Night My Thesaurus Failed Me
Tonight I had a blog post all mapped out in my mind. Then things changed. That idea went on the “another day” list…all because I needed to use my thesaurus. Yes, I use a thesaurus. Frequently. Doesn’t everyone have a ragged, old thesaurus nearby? Next to the Guide to Beating Everyone at Scrabble? Oh, OK, it’s just me.
As usual, I’m digressing and going off topic. Easy to do when you’re me.
Back in focus. I needed to use my thesaurus to look up a better word for “died”. As if there’s really a better way to say it. I was writing an article about Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney’s husband, Clifton, who died yesterday after climbing a magnificent mountain in Tibet.
Not to go off course here again but I will say, he died in a manner that most people would envy….after climbing an amazing 27, 000 feet to summit a mountain, he started his decent and then stopped to rest in his tent. His last words? ““I’m the happiest man in the world. I’ve just summited a beautiful mountain.” Sad for his family and their loss, but what a peaceful way to die.
So there’s the word. Die. Died. Dies. It’s so sharp. It’s not at all peaceful. In the title of the article I was writing I wanted to make sure I conveyed that Mr. Maloney died but it was a bit more peaceful than all of the senseless death we hear about.
Off to my trusty thesaurus. Then the trouble started. I looked up “dies” and I was given some strange choices that had me struggling for about 10 minutes with the title.
Croak - This one was great. I’m sure I’d gain some real fans by writing “Man croaks after climbing mountain in Tibet”. Right on. Next……….
Expire - Was he a flipping coupon? Or a gallon of milk? “Man expires in his tent.” That wasn’t going to work.
Suffocate – Let me not mock death here, but what the heck? A synonym for “dies” is “suffocate”? If I used that, it would be like I worked for the Enquirer. “Man suffocates in tent after scaling large mountain in Tibet” Surely I couldn’t use THAT word.
Succumb - No. This is just way too dramatic. Death is tragic, sad, a loss…but to succumb in a tent on a mountain in Tibet? Cross that one off.
Go Way of All Flesh – What is this, Shakespeare? “Man in tent, may you go way of all flesh.” Just the word “flesh” makes me shudder.
Be No More - This is an actual synonym in my thesaurus. That book I trust so much gives me “Be no more”? Certainly I could not write “The man on the mountain in Tibet, he be no more.”
Kick the Bucket – My favorite. Personally, when I go, I want someone to say that. What happened? Oh, she kicked the bucket. Just so fitting for me…but for a multimillionaire and husband of a Congresswoman? “Congresswoman’s husband kicks the bucket in Tibet.” Better than being caught playing spin the bottle, I suppose.
So, enough of my thesaurus. I usually think of it as my Bible but tonight it failed me. I decided to make it simple and I used, “Carolyn Maloney’s Husband Passes Away in Tibet”. That won’t win me any big, brilliant literary awards, but that’s never going to happen anyway. It just seemed simple enough and didn’t appear to be too dramatic or offensive.
That’s what he did…he passed away. In his sleep. Probably one of the more enviable ways to wrap up your life.
Seriously, I need to have a bit more to do on a Saturday night than post about the man words you can use to replace “dies”. I’ll put “get a life” on my to-do list.
Read more of my opinionated self: Providence Social Media Examiner
What's another word for thesaurus?
Its cover, not it's cover. Okay, so I need to use the dictionary or at least proofread more. Sorry.
I have a raggedy green one on my bookshelf, right next to the raggedy red Spanish-English Dictionary and the raggedy Mirriam-Webster's Dictionary that lost it's cover at least a decade ago. I think I've had all of them since high school, and I graduated from that in 1994. I also keep a dictionary and thesaurus bookmarked online in case the powers that be have added a few words since the early 90's.
also, my least favorite, used in countless funerals: Moved On
So, in mortuary school they taught us all these words that can be used when someone dies, most of which I have read here, and then they taught us that we are never to use them. I'm sure that those instructions were geared toward us, the morticians, but psychologically speaking, the use of words other than die, death, died, etc, only help us to not accept the death for what is is. I'm sure that isn't too helpful, but it's my two cents.
OMG are we one of a kind!!! My Scrabble dictionary literally sits next to my thesaurus on my bookshelf. Loved the post!!!!
Transported is a good word. . . a bit of a stretch, but it works
Died is a very harsh word. Croak or Kick the Bucket were my faves yet not appropriate. I use my thesaurus several times a day. I also love books. You made me think for the next graduation gift of including a thesaurus. Thanks!
I'm working on a book and for my birthday my 24 year old son gave me Roget's Thesaurus.. it's a wonderful huge book.. I could get lost in it! The words one can use!
Now THAT is an amazing gift!!!
I'm cracking up here…as opposed to croaking. I loved the suffocate headline, too funny!
Christine….I once dated someone who suffocated me–well, not physically–and that's all I could think of. lol
Ah, I had an old ragged one until I started using Merriam-Webster's online dictionary/thesaurus. I use one, too. I wish I had all of those $25 words floating around in my head. Great story, as usual, Cheryl!
I love the online version as well…something about the old book that seems to give me a break from the surreal internet world. Sometimes I forget what it's like to look something up the old fashioned way.
Ah, I had an old ragged one until I started using Merriam-Webster's online dictionary/thesaurus. I use one, too. I wish I had all of those $25 words floating around in my head. Great story, as usual, Cheryl!
Actually I use the web, too…but I love books. It's important not to forget them. As far as using "died"…couldn't. It was not a word I could use in the title on that site. Rules are rules…I follow them once in awhile.
The only raggedy book I have anymore is 20,000 Words. I use the web.
Re: your topic. The best word is the first word. The simple word. The short word. He died.
Well, that certainly would've gotten Blondie some headlines….
I was thinking "reverse orgasm" …
Perish, succumb, give up the ghost. Actually I haven't laughed so hard in a while, particularly about death. Good one, Cheryl.