Kiss my ass, hater!
For the past week, I’ve been delighted to receive an unusually high number of nasty comments. No rhyme or reason, but they started when I posted my last blog post. Apparently someone didn’t like my made-up book titles. This person had plenty to say in their assumptions about me and my supposedly “self-centered” personality. Typically I don’t waste my time even mentioning these faceless cowards, but today…well, it’s just time for me to respond.
Dear Person with Multiple Fake Gmail Addresses:
You have way too much flipping time on your hands. I’m not sure if you’re really from Katy, Texas (that’s what Sitemeter tells me according to your IP address 76.164.114.26). Surely there must be some organization where you live that could have used your know-it-all talents for the 35 minutes you spent on my site today.
(Update: I received an email from my “non-fan” the morning following the publication of this post. Mystery writer asked me to remove his/her IP address or they would sue me. They won’t get much. I am not removing it and it’s not against the law. Getting personal with IP addresses Thanks for the additional bullying, pal.)
Have you thought about volunteering your time helping those who actually might need some assistance? I do appreciate you letting me know that my grammar isn’t always perfect on my blog…how about bringing that expertise to a job center so you can help people with their resumes? I don’t employ an editor here…simply because I can’t afford it and why? It’s a blog. I can let loose here…maybe you should follow suit.
I also am grateful that you pointed out the difference between “blonde” and “blond”.
Lastly, I’d just like to say that you should really remove the “I know it’s spelled wrong” blonde reference from your schtick. It’s not spelled wrong. You’ve actually used it right. ‘Blond’ is a color; ‘blonde’ is a woman of that coloration. Is a crying shame (albeit another laughable item) that you really have no idea.
Shall I point out the difference between “self-loathing idiot” and “jackass”. No difference in your case.
Actually, I’ll let you bask in your grammatical glory but I could have used it correctly either way. I could either act like a blonde daily or I could color my hair blonde daily. Who cares?
Just so you know, neither spelling is actually incorrect, but “blond” is almost always used as an adjective, while “blonde” is used more frequently as a noun. According to some research I did in the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, the word was reintroduced into English in the 17th century from French, and was for some time considered French, hence blonde for females/noun and blond for males/adjective.
See? We can both look things up and cut/paste! YAY us! Bottom line, who the hell cares?
Let me move on to another part of your extremely long comment:
“I think your practice of picking on someone else on a regular basis is just mean. You are so perfect that you have designated yourself judge and jury on who should be pointed out and laughed at? Let’s just hope that one day it isn’t one of your oh-so-perfect offspring on the receiving end of someone else’s pettiness, broadcast for all the world to see.”
You don’t like my house blog? Don’t visit. Opinions are great and differing opinions are always welcome. However your accusations are just putting me to sleep. Are you saying that it’s OK for you to tear me apart in a comment yet I can’t write my feelings on my own blog? Hypocrite.
I think you seriously need to get laid.
I’m far from perfect and I don’t recall trying to pretend I am. I’m more apt to gloat about what a clumsy ass I am. As far as my “off-spring”, I actually call them my children. (Off-spring is so chilly–but right in line with your pompous attitude.) Hopefully they will know how to handle someone who picks on them…hey, it might be you. In the grand scheme of things, you’re a blip on the radar screen when it comes to bullying. They are far from perfect but they are five of the greatest individuals that I’ve ever met…so glad to call them my children.
Wait, why am I explaining myself to you? Probably because you took the time to frequent my blog. I like to respond to people. I’m self-centered like that. Just in case you weren’t clear: it’s my blog….so I can write about anything I’d like. I can even make spelling errors and be grammatically dysfunctional if I feel like it.
The best part? You don’t have to read it. If you think I’m self-centered, then go find someone who writes about something a little more to your liking — there’s always War and Peace.
I’ll close with my favorite lines from your ever so long charming comment that didn’t identify your real name to protect the fact that you are a coward:
I don’t have a blog, but I am a frequent blog reader. Infrequent here, but I occasionally return to see what your detractors have to say. Why, you may ask? Because I agree with most of them. I do find you to be self-centered, but most bloggers are, so I guess that could be forgivable. You just happen to be more self-centered than most–and with very little substance to back it up.
For some reason, I think we both went to the same school. The school of bull crap. You just got an advanced degree. Nice that you return here to see what my “detractors” say. Hold on, I’m laughing. Let me catch my breath. My self-centered side (aka confident) tells me that you return here because you secretly like it. Similar to the fact that my ex-husband, and apparently his wife of many years, read my blog on an almost daily basis. Because it’s full of nothingness…and right now in a country where people are out of work, losing their homes and trying to find food for their children, it’s often a good thing to be pointless. You should know plenty about being pointless.
I’d give you an AssHat award, but that’s typically reserved for companies, politics or other organizations who have a negative affect on a large group of people. Your negatives are duly noted and the fact that I don’t need to see a shrink because you’ve told me what’s wrong with me is a blessing.
I’m positive you’ll invent more creative gmail addresses and find new computers to send me sweet little nothings from…please try to channel all that insanity into a useful new hobby. Who knows, maybe you can guest post here one day. Then again, nah…you’re already a know it all and I don’t have time to teach you how to be self centered.
Read more of my opinionated (and self-centered?) views: National Social Media Examiner
image: whynotright.com
Good concept. I like it. Thanks for posting
I’ve seen this in stores is it the same actual product?
LOLOL….this is my first time ever reading any of your blogs and I must tell you, I love it! Shake those haters off of you and keep on keeping on!
You always get the haters. I think the haters like it. It's like S&M! I know guys who like to be humiliated!
I love you for posting this. We've just started blogging and with that comes our first NEGATIVE comments. Seriously I didn't sleep that night. A commenter made me feel like complete shit just because I was joking about calling an old lady a wench because she slammed her car door into mine and didn't even show one sign of remorse (for the record I didn't call this to her face, I only thought it in my head among other things)…but I did call her car a piece of shit (too much?)…Anyways, THANKS for this post.
Right on! Next time I need to really let my opinion loose, I swear I'm going to channel you and give that person an ass hat award. Seriously.
Well, on the plus side, at least you know you're attracting attention and readers. I wonder if he haunts other similar blogs and is just trying to see who he can get riled up. I didn't read his comment(s) but my guess is he has way more time on his hands than he should.
You are one of the most brilliant women I've ever met on-line and in-person… your heart, your soul, your mind, your wit, your knowledge, your humor and your writing.
Maybe your friend just needs a life ……. so she is peeping in on yours seeing how other folk live ?
Everyone loves a bully as well – maybe she thought if she ramped up the tormet you would give her the Ass – Hat ?
Keep it up I find you very funny
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! You go DaiIy Blonde!
fake gmail addresses and such? heck, why not just contact you as who they really are and say "I'm very stupid and I like to read things that I disagree with and that bother me". I tend to only spend my time on the internet at places that I enjoy (no not those places, keep your minds out of the gutter).
Cheryl, you are amazing. Although this anonymous blogger has an obvious infatuation with you and does not deserve the time it took for you to respond, I think your response was perfect in every way. And hey, send her to my "self centered" blog and I will have a few choice words for her too. I beg of her to critisize me. Bring it on.
Keep doing what you do. You are awesome.
Apparently, whomever your masked commenter is — they enjoy some aspect of your blog, or they wouldn’t bother poking you with their stick.
Sorry… forgot to say great post – can’t wait to read your next one!
Apparently, whomever your masked commenter is — they enjoy some aspect of your blog, or they wouldn't bother poking you with their stick.
gosh, i hate this random commenter who made me get off my lazy ass and come to my puter to type a comment….i just couldn't handle it on my iPhone. like blondie said…you don't like it, don't read it. don't like the arrogant self-centered writer, get the fuck out! perhaps you missed the domain name, it didn't say "whoeverisvisiting.com" get laid…smoke a cig…and perhaps go get laid again.
To iterate a previous comment, thank God for all the clueless people that provide fodder for the intelligent bloggers to write about. Those bloggers who know how to amuse themselves and others by poking fun at those who take themselves much too seriously.Delusional denial is the clinical term for the mental midgets who get their self esteem by demeaning others, since they have no confidence (aka self centered side) in their own abilities.
Love what you write and how you write, Erma Bombeck would be proud.
Constant reader, 1st time commenter/commentor/commentator..oh, to heck with it (lol)! That's where you look skyward, say"Thank you, I'd rather see one than be one!" When they get home, they are still miserable, cannot escape from it..it may even be that is what make them 'happy'!
Follow you on twitter, read your blog, appreciate you! At the center of each being is self, so, I guess we're all self centered! Keep blogging, be happy..and you did a good deed, I suppose. You gave him/her a few minutes of your attention and '15 minutes of fame!!
The high-water mark of fame! You have people out there who official hate you and criticize your work. Congratulations!
Jenn and the City
You were so right to say this person needs to get laid…or something, that's for sure. One of the great things about the web is that if you don't like something, you don't have to go there. Simple!! Would this person walk up to someone on the street and share what they think about them? Of course not! This type of attack is cowardly and shows someone who desperately just needs to GET A LIFE! Keep doing what you're doing, Daily Blonde, Blonde or whatever you are. You do rock.
I do agree that it's easy for people to shame others from behind the safety of the 'net. I almost put up a picture of the GREAT Wizard of Oz behind his curtain……..lol…………
)(*%^&*&^%$ (*(*&$%^ %*((%##@$&& ^*)(*)(_))((*$##@$!!!!!!!! to the loser hater!!!!!!!!! I LOVE The Daily Blonde! Reading your blog always elicits a smile or a bounce in my step cause you brighten my day. I will comment more often cause I am one positive menopausal biotch who thinks you rock ; )
I am also a menopausal biotch…but I don't have a white glove or a grammar book when I read other people's blogs. lol. This person needs chocolate and thensome……….
I am LMAO!!
The post I read earlier make me laugh and I wish I could write like you do!
This post is the best that I have seen in some time ! Hats off to you!!
I love your blog,you keep me smiling even when I am having a tough day
You go girl
Thanks, Peggy….I have many tough days that no one knows about (because I'm self centered, of course)….I haven't even had the energy to write a decent post lately so that may be why this person was so upset with me. lol
If one person "gets me", smiles and takes away the fact that I'm just an every day human being (with an imperfect life) who tries to use humor to get thru it, then I'm happy. People really need to loosen up a bit. There are so many bigger fish to fry.
Happy weekend to u
hysterical as always! keep it up, cheryl! the haters can keep reading, it just boosts your traffic count.
…and yes, I do enjoy the traffic from the spammers, haters and those who want to sell me a cheap version of Viagra. Come to think of it, why DO I get so many emails and spam comments about Viagra. I need to look into that.
Pay no attention. Just a few 'Internet Warriors'. Pathetic creatures. You rock. keep doing what you do. I am sure that I am not alone
Thank you…Internet Warriors…I’ve seen that tribe before. They really are quite a bunch
Well done, as usual. Yes, I believe Miss Anonymous could find a positive way to use her many self-proclaimed skills to the benefit of others. Cheryl – I love, love, love, love your blog. Keep writing so the rest of us self-centered, mean people can keep reading!
I agree!
I am still laughing. Someone out there is just crazy about me……….
I've been reading "Plain, Honest Men – The Making of the US Constitution", and your post reminds me of an item that book mentions. The Constitutional Convention got off to a very slow start because wet weather had turned the dirt roads into "rivers of mud", making it difficult for delegates to arrive.
The Convention was to start on May 14, but the only local news the Philadelphia Herald had to report was that a young "cox-comb" who had been a little too free with the bottle, took the hand of a young woman, delicate of dress and shape, peered under her big hat, and pronounced that though he "did not like her so well before as behind", he would be glad of the favour (sic) of a kiss.
Imperturbed, she coolly replied, "With all my heart, Sir, if you will do me the favour to kiss the part you like best!"
Just to let you know that your response to the correspondent was in the best American tradition! But why is it that the jerks get invited to do all the kissing?
Ha!!! You go girl!!!