So, it wasn’t a stripper pole
First of all, I agree…way too much has been made about Miley Cyrus and the “dance” at the MTV Kids Choice Awards. However, I’m not half as disturbed about Miley Cyrus as I am about some of the comments I received today (mostly via email because people can’t speak their mind otherwise). I even got a few “unsubscription” notices from readers of my blog. Guess they didn’t like what I had to say about Miley Cyrus. Sorry to see you go, but it’s never a good thing to be in a place you don’t like.
Regarding my previous post about the Miley Cyrus pole-dancing incident. I stand corrected now by many people who probably watch a heck of a lot more television than I do:
It wasn’t a pole. It was just something for her to “hang on to” while she danced on top of an ice cream cart.
Silly me. What was I thinking? I called it a stripper pole. There is a difference and I’m glad I was made aware of this via emails, comments and snarky direct messages on Twitter.
I’m totally living in the wrong era. I always thought of myself as a forward thinking parent with a good base of traditional values. I have three girls and two boys. They all say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’…from age 8 to age 24. To me, those are basic good manners. Even my rock and roller son who has hair longer than mine says, ‘thank you’ to me for a glass of water or to a complete stranger who holds a door for him. Go figure…I’ve been told by people who don’t know him that “if he cut his hair he’d be more acceptable.” What?
So, I teach my kids to be polite yet to be themselves. This does not extend to having no common sense. I think they should learn to be responsible for how they present themselves. Of course, they aren’t under contract with anyone in Hollywood so they probably won’t be tempted to dance around a stripper pole with the support of a metal pole in shorts that barely cover their crotch are so darn cute.
Sure, Miley Cyrus is ‘growing up’. I understand (now that I’ve been told at least 40 times today) that she can’t get out of her lucrative Hannah Montana contract to pursue pole dancing more grown up roles. Grown up? She’s 16. Yes, it’s an age where girls evolve into young ladies but are we rushing them? For sure.
Some of the emails I got were slightly disturbing. I was told:
- I am probably holding my children back
- I am not telling my children that girls Miley’s age are young women who need to experiment with change
- I am way too conservative. Miley’s dance was cute. Harmless. Fun.
- TV is not a babysitter for our children nor is it a how to manual.
I’m not going to defend the way I parent. I’m not raising holy rollers. I’m raising kids who play outside, ride their bikes, dig up worms, write songs, read books, play their music too loud, watch television on occasion…and they also make mistakes, goof around and get upset when they can’t stay outside for “5 more minutes”. I don’t want my kids to be cookie-cutter but I want them to have fun, enjoy childhood and realize that there is a vast difference between the Hollywood life and life in on our little street.
But ‘way too conservative’ because I thought Miley Cyrus should have maybe added an inch to her shorty-mc-short-shorts? ’Conservative’ because I mistook a support pole for a stripper pole? Pul-eeeze.
Yes, I have a choice what I show my kids. I don’t want them to live in a bubble. My daughter saw the picture of Miley and had no clue who she was because she looked different. Yes, idols grow up. However, this is really, really confusing for children who watch Hannah Montana and then see a picture of this person looking much older. No, maybe children shouldn’t have teen idols according to some commenters, but hasn’t that been the norm–even when we were kids?
Using television as a babysitter? Not here. If there were a pay-per-use fee for television, we’d have a very small bill.
Bottom line: this is my opinion and I appreciate the comments of others. What I don’t get is all this talk of how this 16 year old is “growing up” and this is normal progression. She’s growing up FAST. Hollywood style. Whether or not she should be a role model to young girls is a moot point: she is a BIG DEAL to a lot of girls. Some girls may have parents that do shove their kids in front of a TV. Media molds minds no matter what…it’s up to parents to do the right thing, yes….but some parents are NOT THERE for their kids.
What then? What if the child with no supervision doesn’t know who to ask about the stripper support pole? What if this kid has no adult to turn to and ask anything about growing up or how fast that should go?
My kids are lucky. I answer their questions. I let them be individuals yet try to teach them right from wrong as much as I can. I also let them be kids. I think THAT is the BEST of both worlds.
I don’t think the Miley dance was horrific or worthy of an X rated video. Not even close. What I do think is that anyone who entertains young, impressionable children on a regular basis (like the Hannah Montana show) needs to realize that the television is, unfortunately, a babysitter for MANY children in this country and YES…you need to be a role model at all times. That’s why you get paid the big bucks.
Read more of my opinionated self: Providence Social Media Examiner
I'm not disagreeing with what you are saying about Miley. However, I did post a blog about the perception of "stripper poles". There are a lot of women, from conservative mom's to liberal single women, that have discovered a fun way to work out: pole fitness. I'd like not to classify all these women taking action to be healthy in our nation thwarted with obesity as "strippers". Please check out the blog if you have time:
http://addictedtopoledancing.blogspot.com/2010/08...
Great post! My sister noticed that Miley Cyrus is cast in the next Sex and the City movie. She is so crazy hot. Click here to see her sexy pictures.
Cheryl, I'm so with you on this.
Miley isn't growing up normally, she's growing up wrong and leading a generation of idolizing fools down the same path by displaying private behavior in public and WAY too early in life (see Dirty Dancing).
What I seriously don't get is parents who themselves lead a pretty ordinary life, yet allow their kids to believe the fantasy that life is full of girls who put themselves on display, men surrounded by admiring women and free sex for everyone. You'd have to be on drugs to live like that. Oh, wait….
My kids see nudity, hugging and kissing between people who love each other, but dancing like this in these clothes in front of a world full of strangers?
Maybe Miley didn't dig enough for worms when she was little.
My niece was hanging from the pole on her swing and dancing and we took that away from her because it reminded us of a stripper pole. (She's only 6 months) A dancing on a pole is dancing on a pole. That's all I have to say. (BTW: Niece won't be dancing on anymore poles for a long time, LOL!)
How did I take something so innocent and make it so dirty? She's only 6 months. I don't care. If it's not cute when she's 21. It's not cute now!
Ya know. This whole Miley Cyrus thing is getting a lot of press and blog space which, I suspect, is exactly what her agent, manager and everyone else involved in her career are lovin'. I watched the video. I thought it was suggestive, I thought the lyrics were suggestive and I thought the clothing was suggestive. It was an OK beat and I guess you could dance to it but, for a 16 year old it is way too adult. I don't care about "growing up" or "transitioning to adult roles". Are we going to see a Miley Meltdown the way we saw a Britney and Lindsay Meltdown when she gets a little older?
I was just upset that a show like this comes on the air and I don't have any notice. What if I had gone to this show and not had any dollar bills in my wallet?
damn you blondie! there you go again!! hey i lost some readers as well today with the publication of my PR blackout “thoughts”!! i guess I’m not suppossed to have those! hahahah….
At 16, I sometimes wore skirts that were too short. I sometimes wore shirts that were cut a little too low. BUT I never dressed like teenagers do today. I am only 34 and can’t believe how I feel like I am being a prude but kids today dress like … well not so nice. Skin tight clothes I can handle but keep SOMETHING hidden. When did it become normal to wear shirts that show your bra straps – front and back? I was a blessed kid who did pretty much anything I wanted but never got into major trouble. Yes TV raised me a lot but my mother worked three jobs — she did what she had to. I asked her once if TV was like it is now if I would have had a tv in my room growing up. She said probably not — guess Three’s Company isn’t as bad an influence as Gossip Girl
When I watched the video, I kept waiting for some gyrating. None. Then I waited for some dancing. None.
What I saw, I guess you did too, was Miley on top of a moving platform (made to look like ice cream cart.)
Since she is a mega-million $$$ brand, safety is important, so she was holding on to a pole.
Very tame.
It’s not the fact that Miley was gyrating or not. It’s not whether her dance was cute or not. It’s the fact that it WAS a stripper pole (because I certainly did NOT see and umbrella on top of it) and that a reference was made to it (yes, that WAS a stripper move in the routine) and that people are okay with that. Put to put it all on top of an ice cream cart and call it okay? To think that it’s okay for any girl or woman of any age to have to get attention that way is okay? That’s what so disconcerting. Yes, I know that sex sells. Yes, I realize that Miley is 16, almost 17 and I remember wanting to have a boyfriend and all of that when I was that age. But Miley is who she is and is responsible for her Hannah Montana alter ego. Which is why my six year old girl doesn’t watch her. Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are one package. And until she becomes completely Miley and leaves Hannah behind, then I’d really appreciate it if she would be a little more considerate of all the young girls who adore her.
Daily Blonde- you were right on. Keep speaking your mind.
Just curious. What exactly does she need support for? She’s 16, not 80. She can’t possibly have that bad of a back or balance. Maybe if you had called it an exotic dancer support system, people would have been less offended. However, every news show today has called it a stripper pole as well. I wonder if they’re being bombarded with emails?
And Billy Ray is there for Miley…with his hand held out, waiting for his cut. Let’s face it. She makes more than him, which is probably part of the problem.
so well written…i laughed out loud and totally agreed. i too am raising 4 not so perfect children … but they too know their manners and are growing up in a “real” way. we outlawed hannah montana a bit ago because i had a “feeling” she was “growing up”. say what?
i do hope when my 3 girls get to age 16 their shorts cover their backsides and that they still enjoy dancing….but with not so much as a pole in sight. Good Lord, have mercy…i’m just 3 years from the first hitting that milestone!
thanks for a great read ~ i agree 100%
‘Almost every wise saying has an opposite one,
no less wise, to balance it.’
George Santayana
That is why God invented chocolate and vanilla.
Choices, chances, love of life and learning that opinions do not matter
are more important to growing up than relying on the views of opinionated people who fear ignorance and have themselves not yet matured.
Keep up the good work of you being you, the world could sure use a few more honest people.
Hi Brittany…my older daughters are around your age. I think all your points are valid. My big concern is NOT for my kids—it’s for the kids who have no role model at home. What Miley wore is no different than what I see in my son’s middle school. But it’s just not what I’m ready for my 8 year old to see. Most parents want their kids to make good decisions…but we do have to be there for their questions. Some parents just aren’t.
I didn’t see the show but the Vanessa comment sounds totally uncalled for in a show of this nature. Then again, a lot of what kids are exposed to is just really beyond what I think should happen.
Thanks for the comment.
I’m 26 and I don’t have a child. I grew up in the age of Britney Spears and I was (and still is) a fan of her. When I look at the young stars of today and I ask myself if they are growing up too fast. Then I rewind 10 years to back when I was in high school and I think, maybe not. When I was 16 a girl in my group in math class got pregnant with her first child. My classmates were having sex and were quite vocal about it. They drank and did drugs. And I went to one of the “good” high schools. Should these things have been happening? Not at all, but they were.
I just watched the video of her performance and I have to say it wasn’t that scandalous at all. I think people may have sprung up to defend Miley because compared to others, she’s not that bad. She’s not Vanessa Hudgens, another Disney star for the second time recently has had naked photos of herself released to the public. These are photos she’s taking of herself on her cell phone. I guarantee you if your article was about her and not Miley, you wouldn’t have gotten nearly as much hate mail. Vanessa Hudgens was even brought up that night in the show when Dane Cook, a comedian in his 30s, brought it up and completely embarrassed her when he told her to keep her clothing on. I was more mortified by that then Miley’s dance. I thought to myself that it’s a kids show and something like that shouldn’t have been said. Save it for your stand up. I could imagine that being more of a concern to parents.
I think that this sexualization of young kids is definitely an issue. It’s not just the celebrities. Clothing companies is a huge part. T-shirts that say “juicy” and “cutie” and go knows what else on little girls’ shirts. Shorts getting smaller and smaller. It’s crazy.
I never ended up like my classmates because I knew that my mother would kill me but mostly because I knew the difference between right and wrong. We have to hope that the younger generation also knows what is the right and the wrong thing to do.