AssHat of the Week: Neighborhood Parents
This week, I really wanted to single someone out in politics, but I will save that for next week. I realized that it was time to pay tribute to the irresponsible parents that seem to think I run a home daycare and restaurant for their children. So, this week’s AssHat award covers quite a few heads. It’s a big hat so there’s no problem making sure everyone fits under it.
Yesterday marked the first day of summer vacation for my three youngest children. Big guy, Zach, completed week one of his post-operative recovery and was feeling a lot better. However, he’s still very tired and doesn’t have use of his right arm or hand. Of course, that’s the arm he needs. So, Mom is playing nurse and helper all day long. Even though he’s almost fourteen and could potentially be a cranky teen, he’s been really great about everything.
That aside, let me get to the AssHats who got my head spinning, my blood pressure up and my knee aching. Among other things. I will put this in the form of a letter…because that really makes me feel like I’m addressing my pissed off attitude to the brainless douchers who call themselves parents.
Dear Neighborhood Parents:
Aren’t you glad it’s summer vacation? I’m so glad you planned ahead and didn’t sign your kids up for camp because you knew I’d be at home with my children. Funny thing is, you never asked if it would be OK for your children to camp out in my back yard all day until you realize they are missing. Let’s get a few things straight and maybe I won’t send you a bill.
- My home is small. It doesn’t fit all the neighborhood children when rain breaks out in the middle of the day. Hope you’re nice and dry where ever you are. Come to think of it, where are you? Why don’t your children know?
- Five years old is a little young to be wandering the neighborhood streets. Granted it’s a nice little neighborhood, but not so nice people tend to lurk around the streets in any neighborhood. Your daughter hasn’t had a bath in days and I was wondering…do you think 8:30pm is just a little late for her to be aimlessly looking for friends to play with? When you came to my door the other night asking if she was in my house (at 9pm), I’m really sorry I told you that you’re a few french fries short of a Happy Meal. But, you are. She’s five. Turn off your soap operas and bathe your child. Then feed her…I gave her lunch but I’m not sure she’s had dinner.
- Wet bathing suits are fine as long as they are on your children and not left in my screen porch to attract mildew. Also, if your kiddo wants to come over and use the slip and slide, send them with a towel and then tell them to take it home. I do enough laundry.
- I really don’t appreciate you forgetting to pick up your children. Especially around 530pm when we have dinner. I’m certainly not going to tell these children to sit outside while my kids eat dinner (you’re supposed to feed your kids…not sure if you knew that?). However, I’m a single parent and I don’t really have a pot of gold up my ass, so feeding 4 or 5 extra kids…well, let’s just say you owe me some groceries.
- I actually like your kids. They are polite to me and behave really well when I’m overseeing all the activities here. BUT I am trying to get things done here, take care of my older son and I stay up until 2 or 3am most nights writing my brains out so I can gain enough momentum in the writing field to support my family. Mostly because child support seems to have stopped again…nothing new. I’m used to struggling….and it’s not your problem but it would be nice if you could TELL me what your phone number is instead of just letting your child show up on my door step…..hungry.
Kids are great. I enjoy the camaraderie my children have with the neighborhood crew. Just didn’t know if you would be alright with me taking off for a few days to points unknown…I’ll just tell my children to land on one of your doorsteps. Dirty and hungry. With wet bathing suits, candy wrappers and a few loads of wet towels in tow. They don’t really like to eat food out of a can, so make sure you cook up something good. Maxx doesn’t really like chicken but he loves vegetables, pasta and a ton of fruit. Mya likes to eat an entire cornish game hen with vegetables. She loves brown rice or couscous. Zach needs to have help getting showered and he’s really modest. You have to wash his upper body while he stays in shorts…and make sure you don’t get his sling wet. He has to keep that on. He also likes to eat. A lot.
Thanks for being such a great neighbor,
Blondie
PS. What is your name, anyway?
So, there’s my rant and my AssHat of the Week award. I’m not sure I have a single neighbor who reads my blog, but it felt really good to get that down in writing.
lol I totally adore Justiin
Chicken pox is one hell of a nasty disease, it ruined my flawless skin a couple of years ago.:’”
I feel your pain. I feel even worse for the kids whose parents don't seem to have any value for them.
Parents truely loving their kids would want to know where they are and if they are fed.
I see kids with backpacks bigger than they are walking by themselves to school, or out late at night…these kids are a child preditors dream come true.
Making the kids parents accountable is a good idea. Hopefully their response isn't an abusive one towards the kids.
Reminds me of a lot of kids I knew in my childhood. Dirty, locked out of an empty house and hungry was not an uncommon state in my neighborhood — though not in my family, happily.
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When I lived in the city I had this issue frequently. It got to the point where the kids would come to my house for juice, band-aids, snacks, and the bathroom. I share your pain and hope they stop. Unbathed kids… shame.
I’ve always been the neighborhood mom. I am back with my parents again. (Long Frickin story!) But I am sure when I move out, it will be the same again! I feel your pain.
.-= Gerlaine´s last blog ..I miss you! =-.
I agree with Jeanne, I think every neighborhood has one, we have two in ours. Since I have three children, both of the two are usually here. It sucks..it really does..but I try to think that if they were not here, who knows what they would be doing or if they would be safe..so I guess we are all doing a good thing!
I cant even believe it!! Thats terrible! I am sure you are a great hostess but really, I cant even think about letting my kids go to their friends next door without calling first to make sure its ok. I also always send over freeze pops or chips with them for snacks and they have a pool so I always go over with them and ask if I should stay and watch the kids swim or is the mom going to be out. Just really terrible parents out there.
what a shame. I don’t have that problem cuz I’m kinda mean. LOL
I once had a neighborhood girl, she is 7 or 8, come over and ask to play with my 4 yo daughter because she has one of those blow up bouncers.
She wouldn’t leave when I hinted it was time to go so I not only fed her lunch but she also walked right into my house with no one in there and started playing with Monkey’s toys. I told her she had to leave which worked for a whole hour. She came back and asked me if I could put up the bouncer for her. Then came back 2 hours after that and asked again.
The whole time she was here I have no idea where her “dad” (she mentioned having one at some point) was at.
My neighbor told me about a girl who lives around here that came over to her house and asked to play with her boys. As some point she announced that she had a “disease.” She asked what disease and the girl mentioned it was chicken pox, so they had to tell her to leave.
I didn’t realize bad parenting was so universal until reading your post. I don’t know how you are able to tolerate all the loose children that don’t want to leave your house.
What you said about the 5yo that wanders the neighborhood aimlessly also strikes close to home, that is not uncommon around here.
.-= Angel´s last blog ..AngelaShupe.com Is Now Available On The Kindle! =-.
Holy crap – what the hell is wrong with people? I barely let my 12 year old daughter out of the house without me. Unfortunately this happens way too often – lazy parents counting on responsible parents to do their job. I would be super mad. Great post!
I love this post and I definitely feel your pain. Our neighbor’s 3yo is here constantly, and once when we tried to bring her home so we could have dinner, no one answered the door!
As soon as she walks through our door, she starts asking for food, drinks, etc… It drives me nuts!
-Kristie
.-= Kristie McNealy´s last blog ..Save on Cord Blood Banking Through June 28 =-.
Holy crap! 5 years old? I have a 4 and 6 year old who never leave the site of anyone when they are outside let alone wander the neighborhood!
I feel your pain though Blondie…the other night I found 2 strange kids on my swingset. At 9pm no less. Turns out they were the neighbors grandkids and nobody was watching them as they swung so high the swingset was tipping or when they were hanging upside down from the monkey bars. And then she had the nerve to get upset when I told her it was time for them to go?
People just have no clue sometimes!
PS What time does Blondies Daycare open? I’m on my way.
Where in Cranston are you again? I’ll drop my son off there later on. I’ll be by to pick him up whenever…
Thanks for letting me rant. It’s nice to know that I’m not over the top here. I always know where my kids are and send them with something if they are going over a friends…even if it’s a bunch of juice boxes. I’m just not sure people get it…this isn’t the same world that existed when Leave it To Beaver was on…..
“I’m not sure I have a single neighbor who reads my blog, but it felt really good to get that down in writing.”
They probably don’t know how to turn on a computer anyway. Maybe print your post out as a flyer and distribute. Send one home with the kids. hehehe
BTW … Hope your son gets feeling better soon.
Ciao!
Rick Wilson aka Corprebel
I think every neighborhood has at least one family like this…just a damn shame isn’t it?
Good blog. Perhaps some guilty parents will read here.
This would make a great bulletin board posting in most any neighborhood. In fact, I’ll bet there are folks making copies and using it as a form letter … “Dear neighborhood…”
Unfortunately, those to whom it is addressed will think they received their neighbors mail … by mistake!
The sad thing is if they stop coming to your house it will be because thier parents dropped them off at the mall for the day! Well said, Cheryl!
Wowzer girl. You are TOO good – to the *neighbors*! – You need to start being better to yourself, and *immediately* get the phone numbers of all those ditzy parents (cell, work, whatever!) so you can call them as soon as little 5 yo Annie shows up on the doorstep and tell them you’re bringing her home posthaste because no, your kids can’t play today (and/or “they’re already in bed”). Zach’s in recovery, sure, but is old enough to look after things for the 5 or 10 minutes it should take to walk her, or anyone else, home.
And? Perhaps it’s time to get DSS’s number on speed-dial? You are absolutely right about the weird factor of the mom showing up at your door at 9 pm asking if *you* know where the kid is.
Remember the Ann Landers axiom: People can only walk all over them if you let them (paraphrased – I think she put it a little more pointedly!)
Keep up!
Amen. We have a set of 7 yr old twin girls that run around our neighborhood like they own it. They’ve reported being “followed by strange men” many times. Not sure that is true…but it could be! Where are their parents? WHY are they knocking on MY door at 8pm at night? WHY are they ruining my child’s bedroom that I just spent ALL DAY cleaning????
Thanks for letting me rant…
well said!! we used to deal with this all the time when we lived in our house; now that we are in an apartment it doesn’t happen. some people just have no clue what parenting means….
I really hope your neighbors read this somehow.