Twitter: It’s Just Like Dating
I freely admit that I am on a dating hiatus. Actually, I am currently dating Twitter. Sometimes I go against everything I believe in by cheating on Twitter when I drop by Facebook for a visit. Then there are the days I spend Digg-ing other people…or even Stumbling Upon them. (I am not graceful.) No wonder I have no energy left for real life dating.
After reaching obsessive status with Twitter, I realize that it is a lot like dating. Sometimes it’s pleasant. Often times it’s really great. Then there are the times when Twitter is much like many of the dates I wanted to ditch immediately. Even worse? The stalkers.
Let me explain…
Pleasant Date: He makes small talk, practices good hygiene and doesn’t drink himself into a stupor.
Pleasant Tweeter: Says ‘hello’ and makes it a point to connect. Doesn’t use spam to communicate. Updates just a few times a day.
Great Date: He has an awesome personality, makes me laugh and we connect through great conversation. OK, he has great teeth and forearms. I learn something new from him and he’s interested in what I have to say as well. Doesn’t check his business email on his Blackberry during the date.
Great Tweeter: Gets to know you without an agenda. Enjoys the ‘party’ atmosphere of Twitter and remembers that all business and no fun makes said Tweeter very sketchy. Shares great new sites or information via RT (ReTweet) because sharing is the basis for great connections.
Bad Date: He looks nothing like the picture in his internet dating profile. His conversation is purely one-sided and all about how successful he is. You spend the entire date sucking down fourteen shots of Tequila so you can tolerate his pompous attitude. Inquires if you know anyone who wants to join a great business and never asks you a thing about your life. You exit, block his phone number and email address.
Bad Tweeter: Hides behind the creepy brown ‘stock’ avatar. Add the fact that this Tweeter is following 15,000 and only has 2 followers, there is a strong odor of spam. DMs (Direct Messages) you links without ever taking the time to connect on Twitter. Sends out cheesy Tweets with links about how to quadruple your followers and make millions on Twitter (overnight, of course). You block this Tweeter and move on.
The Stalker: He makes up multiple email addresses so he can get through to you after you block him when you fear a second date might throw you into a self-induced dating time-out. He follows you on every social media site there is because he obviously has nothing better to do and cannot reach you by phone.
Stalker Tweeter: Creates several Twitter accounts to keep up with being constantly blocked by Tweeters who actually use Twitter for the right reasons. Clicks on your blog to check out your latest post and then bounces back to Twitter to see what insanely interesting things you are Tweeting about. Has a slightly narcissistic personality but never uses an avatar. He’s somehow related to Bad Tweeter.
In my experience, the great Tweeters far outweigh the ones who need a Tweet-slap. Never in my life have I connected with such a mass of genuine people who are supportive, funny, informative and real. Yes, Twitter is real…and so are the incredible people I have come to know. It’s worth a few bad dates on Twitter to have the chance to get to know so many phenomenal Tweeters.
Now, back to my date Twitter.
The comment above is wrong, of course it isn’t.
I can really relate to your blog today. When I finally took a huge leap of faith and followed what it was that I really needed to do, not only did life become easier, and I become happier, but the bottom did not fall out from beneath my feet, but instead the universe (and God) provided the things for me and the people to help me at the right time. Life doesn’t always work out the way we intend it to, but we have to trust our instincts and know that life is good, and that it will all work out in the end.
I absolutely love your writings and enjoy your humour and honestly.
May I tweet you out @mochadad
What? This is just about the ickiest comment I’ve ever gotten……I approved it because I think others should be aware that this kind of comment is really just NOT cool. All I can think is “eeww”.
Twitter and I have issues…we are working on our relationship…
That’s why you rock, Jenni Jigg…because you are working on it. It will happen…soon you’ll see that Twitter is worth the try!
Uhhh, failure to communicate – not married. At least, didn’t get the fancy diamond. If married, want the fancy diamond, boy does he have some splainin to do when he gets home………
Not into married. Been there, done that, nice cake.
Jameson out your nose, you nut. lol. You’re married…I don’t want you to date. It’s not all that fun.
You want to see me date, or you want to see my blow Jameson out my nose?
I actually want to see you do that, Jenn. I’ve had enough dates in the past to write for years…..
I still don’t get twitter and how it ups your blog following. Sigh. I’m technically social media retarded. (TSMR). I try though, I really do. But I wish you’d go out on a real date or two because I bet you’d make me blow my Jameson out my nose.
Yeah – that’s what I heard that a guy said to a girlfriend of mine (with children) during their first date. Needless to say, she didn’t “do” him, either!
Hilarious! I wonder if Twitter offers err… social protection?
Sean…I think avoiding Twitter on Friday is a must for some. I have yet to find a key on my computer that says “#followfriday” which would make it a lot easier to write my updates. Of course, I feel terrible guilt when I don’t #followfriday EVERYONE.
Recess is good…I really, really want to have recess become a part of my day. It’s not just for children anymore………..
Man, I compared it to recess but your analogy is MUCH better. That’s why you rock. Remember, never follow on the first Friday.
OMG … I’m dating a hot blonde. But I should tell you up front; I don’t do kids anymore….
you don’t “do” kids? lol I don’t “do” kids either…and when it comes down to it, I’d rather be with my kids than go on a date. So, that’s why I date Twitter!
I like this analogy. I also like the twitter / crack analogy I use LOL! But this,is more suitable!
I like your analogy because it’s funny….but then again, I’m a wimp when it comes to anything drug-like other than Excedrin Migraine lol
You know, I still haven’t quite figured out the whole Twitter thing. Motivational quotes, URLs to [somewhat] interesting sites, lots of MLM and spammers, the porn queens and a few people who seem to know each other but don’t acknowledge anyone else even if they are following.
I admit to throwing out my URL every now and again. Yet, I’m not sure where the “community” come in. Twitter is too slow to be an IM . But, I gotta admit, there is some intangible something that keeps me checking in a few times a day.
There are many pros and cons to Twittering. All I know is it has grown my blog by 80% since I started in Sept. You just have to weed thru the…well, the weeds!
Crap, now I’m in the running for ASSHAT. That’s not the comment I wanted to leave. Just wanted to say Happy Belated Mother’s day! Ughhh where’s a rock I can crawl under?
works for me.