Alpha Woman, Gamma Woman? Why Can’t I Just Be A Woman?
I’m not sure at what age I actually became a woman. Did it start with my period? Because if that’s the case, I was just shy of ten years old when I entered into woman-hood. That just doesn’t sound right. I was still playing with my Penny Bright dolls and listening to the Carpenter’s on my GE record player. I still wore an undershirt and my underpants had Winnie The Pooh on them. Hey, for all you know, they still do.
So, I’ll rule out age ten and perhaps embarrass myself here and figure that I became a woman when I first had sex. Yes, I can say sex here. I didn’t say “hot as hell sex” or “down and dirty sex”. I said “sex”. First time sex. Scary sex. Oh-My-God-I’m-not-a-virgin-any-more sex. I was almost 19. Alright, it’s OK to laugh. For those of you who started earlier, you’re probably sick of it by now. I’m not…..so there!
So, now that I’m done with the late bloomer paragraph, I’ll go on to say that somewhere between 19 and 21 I became a woman. I got married at 20 and had my first daughter at 21. I think woman-hood started around then.
This blog is not about my sex life (currently I do not have one, so that would be a short blog) or giving birth. It’s about all the classifications that are given to women these days. I guess you are no one if you aren’t an Alpha Woman, a Gamma Woman or a Beta Chick. Where do I fit in these categories?
I know now that I am not an Alpha woman. According to one article I read in The GlassHammer: “Alphas value status and express their high standing on the social ladder through their clothes, their homes, their cars, their careers, and even their families.” Another article on AskMen.com seems to classify Alpha females as complete biatches: “The alpha female is used to having men pursue her and give in to her every whim. The alpha female is a busy woman, or at least she is very talented at making you believe that.”
I do not need status to make me a good woman. Never mind the fact that I’m scared to death of climbing a ladder, so I’ll just remain a strong woman right here on the ground. As far as needing men to pursue me, I don’t believe in the chasing in either direction. In the end, it’s a power play and it’s only done by those with deep rooted insecurities. Look at me pretending I’m an expert on the man/woman thing….but it sounds good, doesn’t it? I like that phrase “deep-rooted”. I think someone said that about my hair the other day……what were they talking about??
So it’s clear I’m not Alpha. I love nice things but I don’t need to have them to show that I am one hell of a great chick. I don’t need power to show strength. I’ve given birth five times without the help of mind-altering drugs, so I think that speaks volumes about my strength. Or stupidity. I’ve been a single Mom for almost eight years and we have a roof over our heads. No one is starving and we haven’t had to use cereal boxes to replace the bottoms on our shoes…yet. I don’t need to be called an Alpha to know that I’m one strong woman.
Could I be a Gamma woman? I do fall more into this category because apparently a Gamma woman’s sense of self is guided by her internal beliefs, passions, and priorities. That’s a long string of words that mean I do what I feel is best. Doesn’t everyone? I don’t have to be called a “Gamma” to know that. Gammas put their family first; work exists to serve family needs, not the reverse. I agree with that. My kids come first for sure…but do I need a group of people who were paid gobs of money to do a study to tell me that? Not a chance.
I’m not even going to get into Betas, Omegas and whatever else might be lurking out there. I’m a woman. A good, old-fashioned, heterosexual, enjoy-the-moment, curvy, chocolate eating, steak loving, Pepsi-sneaking woman. Let’s not forget classy when it’s called for, sarcastic when necessary and not concerned about being on top unless….well…..that’s a blog for a different day. Funny how this blog could make a full circle back to becoming a woman and having sex.
So, I’m going to get back to being a woman….not “just” a woman…but just myself. I don’t want to be a power player or a back stabbing, man-bashing woman who doesn’t “need a man”. I’m single and very content with my life as it is…but if Mr. VeryPerfectForME walked into my life, I’ve got plenty of room here on the couch.
PS: I wanted to say thanks to Modernsinglemomma.com for naming me to the “Who’s Who of Single Parents: Community Builders” !
Only an alpha female would put it that way! Come on in, the water’s nice!
Thank you , Karri! I appreciate the comment!
Your writing is hysterical (in a good way). I actually hold positive connotations around “alpha” but maybe that’s because I can be a bossy bag sometimes. Seriously though (?), I consider alpha females to simply be women who know their own mind and would rather live their truth than apologize for it. So you’re ‘alpha’ in my mind!
Fab blog you have here. Glad I found it.
Cheers.
Karri Flatla’s last blog post..SEO, Cult of Personality and a Serendipitous Meeting of the Minds
You are my new hero!
I almost fell off my chair laughing so hard! Yee Haw! I think you forgot to include conceited, self-centered and disloyal concerning Alpha Woman. You rock!
This is entirely frivolous but “AplusK”? In my infantile mind, that means his first name has a crush on his surname. P+B+R equals a tasty and economically sound beverage, but it’s not my Twitter name. (Actually, am thrilled he donated the cashish. Doubt CNN—his twitter follower acquisition nemesis—would have.)
Peace and love, my fellow Cheryl As always, a splendiferous post.
Labels, schmabels…..
Cheryl I loved this post!
Glad I found this blog (someone mentioned you on twitter). This is too funny and so true!!! Sending loads of chocolate your way. What a great way to start a fantastic friday!
Loved the Post :
The best part is:
“I’m single and very content with my life as it is…but if Mr. VeryPerfectForME walked into my life, I’ve got plenty of room here on the couch.”
That’s what I believe too
Men categorize us because their little brains can only handle general, broad ideas, not subtle nuances.
Just ignore.
Unless you plan to become a “Cougar?”
We at TheGlassHammer.com agree with these sentiments. In the article you link to, we actually were reporting on the release of the “study” but we did add our own two cents about yet another label being slapped on women (with a list of expected attributes attached). Here is part of what was written: “To me, although this seems innocuous on its face–you don’t have to be much smarter than a fifth grader to understand that females are socialized to seek consensus and inclusion–I found myself chafing at the idea that somehow, it’s just this simple to put people into categories. Moreover, these categories seem, frankly, just a bit obvious, as if they’ve been here all along. I can hear it now: “NEW AND IMPROVED: IT’S BOX! It used to have sides and a top; now it has a top and sides. It’s 51% less confining, with all the same features you loved before.” What next: The Omega woman? She’s all things to all people, yet fits into no other category, and makes no one happy – not her family, not her company, not the marketers, and not herself.
This is great Cheryl. And I can't believe how timely. I was JUST looking at someone's site who claims to be a "Beta Mom". I looked at that and thought 'What does that mean? Should I know what that means?' Ugh.
I don't care. I just don't care!!!
(I guess that makes me a Gamma ;->)
Cheryl… you are an inspiration. What a great post.. again…as usual! ANother reason I love your blog!
I’m not the best, Tom…just myself and do the best I can
But thanks…nice to hear.
Those of us who know you know what kind of woman you are….one of the very best.
Cool post. And right – what’s in a title anyway?
Lol, great post!